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Brigham Young University
  1. The most non-conformist girl in our dormitory
  2. Confidences, confessions, and advice
  3. An intimate little gathering
  4. Girl talk and a run-in with Standards
  5. I just don't belong here
Exmormon
  1. Young Women's
  2. Youth Conference
  3. Saturday's Warrior
  4. Brigham Young University
  5. Polygamist
  6. Temple Wedding
  7. Orem High
  8. Bordeaux Mission
  9. Exmo Conference
Brigham Young University

Monday morning

I woke up to the most incredible feeling of dread. In those few moments of re-orientation while reaching consciousness, the full force of what had happened last night hit me. I ran my fingers along the side of my head, feeling the faint stubble on my fingertips and hardly believing what I had done.

"Ah, well, what's done is done," I sighed to myself, getting out of bed.

I grabbed my hairbrush and went to look in the mirror on the closet door. As I stood there brushing the remains of my hair -- the right side -- to a glossy sheen, I had to admit that it was rather striking as a look, although strange.

Just then Janie got back from her shower and saw me. She gasped, and her eyes opened wide behind her thick glasses.

"Oh, my heck!" she exclaimed, horrified. "What did you do to your hair?"

"The other girls talked me into it," I meekly replied. I then immediately started mentally kicking myself for feeling apologetic in the face of her self-righteous attitude. "I think it looks kind of cool, though, don't you? Why always follow the crowd when you can start a new trend?"

"You're not going to start a new trend like that, you look like a freak!"

"Now, Janie, is that really a Christlike attitude?" I asked her in a tone of mock-sweetness.

"Humph!" she sniffed, "I'll never understand you feminists. If you were really so proud to be a woman, you wouldn't be ashamed to look like one!"

"So you're saying that this hairstyle makes me look like a man?" I asked.

"You look like a lesbian!"

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EXMORMON

"Okay, now you're saying nonsense," I said calmly but firmly. "You don't even know any lesbians. I have no idea why you would imagine that they would do their hair this way."

"Whatever!" she said, and she finished dressing, grabbed her bag, and stormed out.

I realized that unfortunately I couldn't stay in the room forever myself, so I grabbed my toothbrush and headed off to the bathroom. I survived a few stares, but the smiles from my friends encouraged me. Wendy and Lavyrne both high-fived me when they saw me walking down the hall behaving as if nothing were amiss. I started to feel proud to be brave enough to go against the grain! Just in case, though, I grabbed a hat before heading out of the dorm.

The hat turned out to be helpful when getting my sack lunch at that cafeteria -- no sense bothering to rock the cafeteria ladies' world.

I took off the hat again walking up to campus, but I didn't make it past the humanities building before the stares and strange looks got to me. I ducked in and headed straight for the ladies' room. There I combed the hair from my right side over to a ponytail just below my left ear. Like that you could hardly see that anything was strange at all.

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