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Brigham Young University
  1. The most non-conformist girl in our dormitory
  2. Confidences, confessions, and advice
  3. An intimate little gathering
  4. Girl talk and a run-in with Standards
  5. I just don't belong here
  1. Young Women's
  2. Youth Conference
  3. Saturday's Warrior
  4. Brigham Young University
  5. Polygamist
  6. Temple Wedding
  7. Orem High
  8. Bordeaux Mission
  9. Exmo Conference
Brigham Young University

I was sad to see that I couldn't bring myself to really go against the grain, but at least I had tried a bit more than the others. I figured I could keep doing my hair to disguise the shaved part like that whenever I was on campus for a few weeks until the left side grew out long enough for me to cut it all to match.

I came back out of the bathroom. Now that I looked essentially normal again, it seemed like everything had returned to normal. People passed by walking to their classes and chatting with each other without noticing me.

Walking along, I passed the bronze statue of a young family. It showed a father and mother who looked not far from my own age, conservatively dressed, looking down at a little girl and holding her hands. The mother reminded me of the pictures representing an idealized young woman that appeared on all of our church materials and manuals in the Young Women's organization and on the golden medallions that we earned by setting and keeping goals.

The statue appeared to show the idealized culmination of the goals we had set in Young Women's. I of course intended to start a family one day, yet somehow I couldn't feel any sort of affinity with the people represented by this sculpture. Once my hair grew back I might be able to make myself look like the young mother, but I actually felt more natural kinship with another favorite BYU bronze sculpture, the Indian. He stood there day after day in his loincloth looking down at the students passing by, physically present among them without fitting in as one of them.

I had set off extra early and had plenty of time before I needed to get to class, so I headed into the university bookstore. For fun I went and checked out all of the various styles of CTR rings. I remembered having a CTR ring as a kid when it was just a cheap little thing they gave to all of us to help us remember to "choose the right." Since then some enterprising person had realized that many people had fond childhood memories of CTR rings, and hence a nicer version of the same ring could be marketed to adults. A lot of my friends had them. They were kind of cute, but I wasn't sure if I wanted one myself or not.

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To cross the bookstore to go out the exit by the library, one had to pass through the chocolate department. In fact the chocolate department was right in the middle of the store, and all of the possible paths to go anywhere seemed to pass through it. A strong and irresistibly delicious smell of chocolate saturated the entire region of the candy counter. Amy's boyfriend Jake had joked that it was because Mormons aren't allowed any real drugs that they wildly overdo it on the minor ones that are allowed, like chocolate. This time I managed to escape the siren call of the chocolate counter without buying anything, but I wasn't always so lucky.

Walking out the door I passed a distribution stand for the school newspaper, the Daily Universe. The cover story was about a devotional that one of the General Authorities had given at BYU. I wished that I could instead pick up a copy of the more lively independent weekly, the Student Review, but unfortunately they were forbidden from distributing on campus at all. One had to go all the way out to the border of campus to one of the entrances to pick up a copy.

I headed to the Eyring Science Center. When I arrived, the class before mine still hadn't let out yet, so I milled around the entry area looking at the various displays in the display cases as I normally did while waiting. One of the displays was about Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television. Farnsworth was a source of pride to Mormons in general because, like the author Orson Scott Card, he was a Mormon who had produced something of value recognized outside of Mormon circles. Of course at the rate that the church was growing, there would certainly be many more such examples in the future.

Physics class eventually started, and after that I had Humanities. All in all, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful considering the secret of my strange hair.

In the evening I finished my homework early since I had some free time to get work done on Monday afternoons. I decided to go see if any of my friends were up to anything interesting.

Amy and Cindy's door was partially open, which was the signal that they weren't busy and that it would be okay to come in and join them. I came in and took a seat on the bed. They were talking about Amy's boyfriend Jake.

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