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Brigham Young University
  1. The most non-conformist girl in our dormitory
  2. Confidences, confessions, and advice
  3. An intimate little gathering
  4. Girl talk and a run-in with Standards
  5. I just don't belong here
Exmormon
  1. Young Women's
  2. Youth Conference
  3. Saturday's Warrior
  4. Brigham Young University
  5. Polygamist
  6. Temple Wedding
  7. Orem High
  8. Bordeaux Mission
  9. Exmo Conference
Brigham Young University

"Are you sure that that's what he has in mind?" I asked. "This one's a returned-missionary, isn't he?"

"Yes, but he's an athlete," Cindy explained. "All of the guys on the sports teams are the same. I should know."

Sports were important enough to BYU culture that the athletes tended to be treated with a bit of indulgence. They were also one of the few segments of BYU culture where non-members were non-trivially represented, as the university was interested in recruiting students that would be star players for their teams, possibly at the expense of other desirable qualities. So while the athletes perhaps had to avoid getting too out-of-hand, the administration wasn't following them around looking to punish every indiscretion.

"I know that this is none of my business," I said, "but aren't you worried that you may be jeopardizing your chances of getting married in the temple someday?"

Cindy paused as if she hadn't really thought about that before. Then she said "Oh, come on, everybody does it."

"And besides," said Amy, "if you can't get a temple recommend right before your marriage, you can always get married outside the temple and then get sealed in the temple a year later."

"To be honest with you," I said, "I don't think that everyone is doing it. If you two confided in our other friends the way you confide in me, Janie isn't the only one who would be shocked."

"Really? You think?" asked Amy.

"Oh, yes," I said with certainty.

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EXMORMON

"In fact -- you guys are going to laugh when I tell you this -- but just the other day I was part of a confidential conversation like this one with Janie, Trisha, Wendy, Lavyrne, and this girl named LaBella, who's a friend of Trisha's from another dorm. At one point, they all started talking in hushed tones about what happens after you get married. They were pussy-footing around the idea of sex without anyone being willing to say the word. But without directly stating what they were talking about, they were quite unanimous about the fact that the whole business seemed nasty and distasteful, but that it was a necessary evil that comes along with the joys of marriage and family."

Cindy looked shocked. "What is with them, are they crazy?" she asked.

"Maybe, I don't know," I said, "but I get the impression that for a typical BYU student premarital sex is unthinkable."

"Well what did you say to them when they were saying all that?" asked Amy.

"I was pretty embarrassed, but I told them that I didn't think it would be so terrible, and that we've been counseled by the church leaders that physical intimacy is a vital part of an eternal marriage."

"Did any of them change their tune when you said that?" asked Amy.

"No," I said. "And that's why I think that they were being perfectly sincere and not just saying that to pretend to be holy. They all admitted that they liked kissing boys, however, except Lavyrne, who seemed disgusted by even that."

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