1. He's perfect for the part
2. You're my obsession
3. A question of morality
4. Could I really love a man who could do something like this?
5. A problem and a solution
6. A favor for a friend
7. The grace period
8. Trying to make things right again
9. The sort of spiritual experience eternal companions should share

• (character chart)
• (caution/disclaimer)

1. Young Women's
2. Youth Conference
3. Saturday's Warrior
4. Brigham Young University
• Gratuitous Love Scene
5. Polygamist
6. Temple Wedding
7. Orem High
8. Bordeaux Mission
9. Exmo Conference

Later the Jensens came home and paid us and Mrs. Jensen took us home. It wasn't much money to split, but we'd had fun. Anyway, for spending money I also had my gardening job at Sister Sanderson's house.

When I got into bed of course I reviewed the images from the movie and from the magazines in my head. That's not to say that these non-members had corrupted a pure little Mormon girl with their free access to dirty materials. Babysitting jobs like this one simplified the matter, but you can always find interesting information if you're on the lookout for it. For example my own mother sometimes bought some fashion magazines for old married ladies that weren't quite on par with Cosmopolitan but still had some decent sex articles. Plus my parents had various medical and anatomy books which -- while they couldn't compare to The Joy of Sex -- still had some pretty good diagrams and articles.

One time for fun years earlier I had even looked up "sex" in the encyclopedia. That article was where I first learned the word masturbation. Actually it kind of shocked and embarrassed me to read it because up until that point it had never occurred to me that there was a word for it, yet I knew immediately what it was. It was at that moment that it really hit me that it must be a sin, although I had kind of suspected it all along.

There was one troubling thing that I had learned in Sunday School about repentance, namely that in order to work it had to be completely sincere, and that therefore falling back into the same sin would undo earlier repentance for it. I was always sorry, but I was never able to attain the level of sincerity necessary to completely reform. Even going a full week took more resolve than I could usually muster.

The only hope I could see on the horizon was that in another five years or so I would be old enough to get married, and then it wouldn't be a sin to have all of sex for real. That would finally cure this problem and I would be free to become righteous enough to fully live the gospel as Heavenly Father intended.

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When Tuesday rolled around, I was really psyched to go to my rehearsal. This time we were going to get down to business on learning the musical numbers and dances for real.

Right off the bat we broke into small groups to practice the various numbers in different rooms. I went with the other family members to practice the number Daddy's Nose and Walter and Jake went to a different room to practice Humble Way.

I was actually kind of glad to be off doing something interesting away from Walter so that I wouldn't be tempted to just watch him and think about him. I was serious about wanting to be less in love with him since it was hopeless that anything would ever come of it.

Learning the dance to Daddy's Nose worked like a charm to take my mind off him since the dance was so elaborate. Fortunately I'd taken dance classes since I was a kid -- both modern and ballet -- so it was no problem for me to learn the steps. The girl who played Shelley was having a lot of trouble, though, which kind of annoyed me because I couldn't help but feel like my sister Joy, who had taken dance classes with me, would have done a better job. But then I figured that it wasn't really this girl's fault that she had been chosen over Joy, so I determined to be patient with her and to try to help and encourage her as much as possible.

Jake's mom had worked out all of the choreography for the number. She showed us what to do. It turned out that Rex was right that she was a really nice lady. I felt bad that my first reaction had been to judge her for her "Word of Wisdom problems" (i.e. smoking) the way the people from her ward and my mom had done.

I learned that Jake's mom's name was "Ms. Lawrence," which was interesting since Jake's last name was Winchester. Of course it wasn't too surprising that Jake and his mom didn't have the same last name since I knew that Jake's parents had gotten divorced when he was little.

Ms. Lawrence had us all call her by her first name, Grace. She probably did it to be like Pinky, who always had everyone in all of her productions call her by her first name. Pinky was a teacher at the high school, so in theory people were supposed to call her "Ms. Pinkerton," but that wasn't allowed during rehearsals of any production either by the high school drama club or by the local community theater.

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