Saturday's Warrior
Being honest with myself, I found that I wanted to do it again, only under different circumstances. In a proper bed, for one thing, and with a condom or some other contraception. But of course that would be impossible.
I felt kind of evil for secretly wishing to ruin Walter's resolve to improve himself for his mission. I was tempted to imagine that he and I could have one date and one night of passion and then we could both repent afterwards.
It would be so beautiful. I couldn't see it as evil and dirty in my heart even though I knew Heavenly Father felt otherwise.
I figured I should get down to business on repenting, but I didn't feel like letting it sink in to myself just yet how wrong my experience had been. I wanted to be alone with my pleasant memory of it just a bit longer.
Could I really love a man who would do something like this?
It didn't make sense, but I did.
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