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Saturday's Warrior
  1. He's perfect for the part
  2. You're my obsession
  3. A question of morality
  4. Could I really love a man who could do something like this?
  5. A problem and a solution
  6. A favor for a friend
  7. The grace period
  8. Trying to make things right again
  9. The sort of spiritual experience eternal companions should share
Exmormon
  1. Young Women's
  2. Youth Conference
  3. Saturday's Warrior
  4. Brigham Young University
  5. Polygamist
  6. Temple Wedding
  7. Orem High
  8. Bordeaux Mission
  9. Exmo Conference
Saturday's Warrior

Sunday evening

As if our usual three-hour services weren't sufficient, after dinner on Sunday Rex, Joy, and I had a youth fireside to attend at the bishop's house. Logically Rex shouldn't have been required to attend since he was eighteen and hence no longer in the youth program, but Mom insisted that she wanted him to go. Actually none of would have gone if we'd had a choice. So naturally we dragged our heels a bit getting there and arrived late.

When we got there it had already started. All of the couches and chairs in the living room were filled with kids. I waved to my friends Michelle and Alison, but there wasn't room for me to go sit by them.

The bishop's wife brought in some more chairs from the kitchen for us and set us up near the entry to the room. Fortunately our arrival didn't cause too much of a disturbance.

The speaker didn't interrupt his talk for us. By bad luck, his topic was morality -- exactly the subject I least wanted to hear about. It probably wasn't that much of a coincidence actually since it seemed like this was a subject they were always harping about. By "morality" of course they meant sex, and how young people shouldn't be having it.

The speaker was explaining the importance of not getting too serious about one person when you're too young. He talked about how when you're sixteen and old enough to date, you should go mostly on double dates with a variety of people and do clean, wholesome activities like miniature golf. He explained how this was the best way to avoid being tempted while dating to do the things we shouldn't be doing.

This was really the last message in the world I wanted to hear. All I wanted was to date Walter seriously and exclusively and perhaps maybe do a few of the things we weren't supposed to be doing. I certainly had no interest in waiting until I turned sixteen and then going on a bunch of double-dates with a series of random guys I cared nothing about doing some nonsense like playing miniature golf.

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EXMORMON

On the other hand, I thought that perhaps that was why Walter was always flirting with all different girls rather than getting too serious about just one girl. This lesson came up all the time, and he was following it better than I was. It seemed that in addition to his beauty and charm he was also righteous.

Then the speaker started in on how a date shouldn't be about kissing and making out and certainly shouldn't be about "petting" or worse. Listening to this discourse I started feeling completely detached from the ideas I had grown up with. I'd heard all of this a hundred million times, but I no longer agreed with it. Sin or no sin, all I wanted was to hold him in my arms and to touch him and especially to be touched and desired by him. It was so forceful and present in my mind that I was ready to suffer for eternity to pay for it.

It didn't even phase me or change my resolve when the speaker read from the prophet Spencer W. Kimball's book The Miracle of Forgiveness, quoting the prophet David O. McKay as saying "Your virtue is worth more than your life. Please young folk, preserve your virtue even if you lose your lives."

Then, so as not to exclude the kids who had no sexual experience at all from feeling bad, the speaker started talking about how sinful it was to even think about sex. He told us we shouldn't allow Satan to tempt us to look at pornography or watch rated R movies and allow our minds to be filled with impure thoughts. He reminded us that our bodies are temples that should be clean places that we would be happy to invite Jesus to dwell in.

I looked all around the room. Essentially everyone looked at least a little bit uncomfortable to be forced to listen to such an embarrassing and intimate message. Even the bishop himself was kind of forcing a smile. His wife was the only one who was smiling sincerely and nodding enthusiastically. I felt kind of sorry for him and their kids.

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