It hit me that the worst part was that I hadn't made any progress at all towards my goal of gaining a sure knowledge of the truthfullness of the gospel. I didn't see how I could stand up in Fast and Testimony meeting the next day and bear my testimony for the whole ward. But I didn't want to just throw in the towel.
I decided to pray. I prayed like never before. I started by repenting of all of the things I'd done wrong that day, and then started pleading with the Lord to give me a testimony by the next day.
When I got in bed, I wasn't really sure if I felt better or worse. I still felt kind of guilty and apprehensive. I knew we weren't supposed to test God by asking for a sign, so I couldn't tell if it was righteous or unrighteous of me to ask Heavenly Father to manifest Himself to me before the next day. I figured it was probably the wrong thing to ask for because on some level I was sure that it wasn't going to happen.
When Lynn's alarm clock went off in the next room, it woke me up. It didn't normally, but I had slept so fitfully that night that the slightest thing disturbed me. I tried to go back to sleep for about a half an hour, but it was no use, so I got up and went downstairs.
Lynn was already dressed to go out, and my dad was up putting on his winter gear as well.
Dad looked happy to see me. "Oh good, you're up," he said. "The snow's piled higher than I've seen it in a while, and it's still coming down. Can you help us with Lynn's route?"
"Are there any papers to deliver?" I asked.
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